İnsan, onsuz kaldığında aşık olduğunu anlar. Yan yanayken dünyadaki renkleri yeniden keşfettiğin kişinin yokluğunu hayal etmek bile sana imkansız gelir. Ne kadar kişi olursa olsun çevrende, yalnız hissedersin o olmadığında. Biraz konuşmak, öpmek, onunla olmak sana aradığın mutluluğu verecektir.
Başka hiçbir ten onun teni gibi olmayacaktır, başka hiçbir bakış, hiçbir gülüş, hiçbir koku, hiçbir öpüşme, hiçbir anı onunla olanın yerini tutamayacaktır.
Çocuksundur, en sevdiğin oyuncağın kırılmış gibi olur. Yaşlı gözlerle bakıverirsin arkasından. Zaman değirmenini durduramazsın.
Onu görmek istediğinde göremezsen, konuşmak istediğinde sesini duyamazsan, içten içe onsuz kalmaya başlarsın, yakınında olmasına rağmen. Umudun tükenir, sen tükenirsin, onunlayken onsuz hissetmeyi öğrenirsin. Saat 1.53’tür, ne zaman bir daha mesaj atacak diye bakıp durursun, sabah uyandığında bir önceki geceden daha az beklemeyi öğrenirsin. Bu dünyada bir tane Mecnun oldu, Leylasını kalbinde yaşatmaya başladı, öyle yaşattı ki tüm aşıklar Mecnun oldu, sen de Mecnun olmayı öğrenirsin. Tüm duaların onun için olur.
Bir insanı kalbinde yaşatmak demek, hayatla ilgili başka yapacak bir şeyin kalmadığı anlamına gelir. Mecnun yanından geçip gider, onun rüzgarına kapılırsın.
Aşık acısı diner mi hiç? hep nasıl olacak diye düşünüp durur, kurtulamaz da, bir kere kirpikler kalbinde ok olmuştur, sinesine vurup öldürür onu.
Kime kim vurdu ok?
Gussa ile kaygu yok.(Gussa; Hüzün)
Feryad ile âhı çok,
Firkatli nesnedir aşk.(Firkat; sevdiğinden ayrılma)
Ne zaman ki güneş batar, bir çiçek koklayıp gideceğimizi sandığımız bu dünyada gece olur, o an bir hüzün gelir insana, düşünüp durur sevdiğini, üzülür durur onsuzluğa, ağlar yalnızlığına. Tam o an beklenmeyen bir telefon gelir, sesini duyar sevdiğinin, bir gece daha sabah olur. Geceler, aşıklar içindir.
The Creator Causal Design
The Creator Causal Design
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